Marry and Gay!

 The God Thoth, was congratulating himself on having invented the alphabet when Thamus, the God-king of Egypt said to him "this invention will produce forgetfulness in the minds of those who learn to use it, because they will not practice their memory. Their trust in writing, produced by external characters which are no part of themselves, will discourage the use of their own memory within them. The specific which you have discovered is an aid not to memory but to reminiscence, and you give your disciples not truth, but only the semblance of truth (quoted in de Santillana, p. 348).” When I first read these words, I was taken aback. Shocked even. Isn’t the written word superior to the spoken one? 

So I pondered for days and concluded, that the debate between memory and the pen will continue forever. As a society, we’re afraid of change,  Weren’t we all told that once homosexuals enter matrimony, it will be ruined for the man-woman variety? Nothing happened. On the positive side, we got gay divorces. Two men at each other’s throats?  Ahh!! Juicy!! I’ve counseled many a girlfriend in their marriages, but counseling a man how to deal with another man is really something! 

In seriousness,  the LGBTQ +++++ community has done so much for women. You know, the cat lady oeuvre? Where a single woman sipping wine, reading a book with a cat on her lap blanket and another two snuggled in her slippers was the ultimate fate every woman was told to be afraid of.  The gay mens of this world have made it glamorous to have kitties, read Jane Austen and flaunt vintage accessories.  So, girls single or married are now flaunting their pussy cats, and the hand made lap blanket either bought from ETSY or knitted by themselves. We are displaying our crafts. It’s like we women have come into their own thanks to men. Who happen to be white - mostly. 

The influencer/podcaster called Chris Williamson said a very interesting thing the other day. He said and I paraphrase, he said  that most of us have had great moms, and yet motherhood is not aspirational anymore! It struck a chord. So true. Becoming a mother, is not aspirational? Yes let’s do the caveats first - motherhood is not for everyone, and not everyone will be a good parent. But most will. We need our education, and it is paramount that we have jobs and economic stability. And we’re taking huge strides in the work force. Yet we’re afraid of parenting. We are made to believe that motherhood will be a disuse to our education.  Every 20 year old dreams of being an influencer on the ‘gram but no way a mother.  They want the big wedding, the picturesque honeymoon, but no child. Wanting to become a mother or making motherhood a goal is frowned upon (like being a teacher but that’s another rant for another day). Why? What will you influence by becoming an influencer? Give birth to your own influenceés and you can own that cult forever!! 

And here, I look up to the men of the LGBTQ community for help, especially if they happen to be white. I know they will make motherhood aspirational again. Celebs are already doing it. Elton John and his partner have two kids and they do the school run and nativity plays. Pete Buttigieg, took paternity leave!! How cool is that? And Tan France (Not white but has a white partner) from the queer eye advertises baby products and lives a fab lifestyle with baby et al.  Ooh and who can miss mentioning Mr. Martin. Ricky Martin, with his kids.Yeah he’s Latino - but of the white, blonde variety.  I’ve mentioned the makeup issue before, where women are arching their eyebrows and contouring like drag queens to look ultra-feminine. So maybe motherhood will also be made cool by the LGBTQ team of white men!