Weeding Children

Like everything in life my gardening skills are mediocre at best and pathetic at worst. I hate to grow vegetables because I see it as too much pressure of growing something to fruition that I can make use of. That’s exactly how I think of my children. I like to raise them and enjoy having them but I don’t want to undertake the pressure of making them useful in life. They’re just like flowering plants. They bloom when they want to. A little bit of neglect and they wilt. 

Seriously, growing children is like raising plants. We nurture them. Feed them. Hydrate them. And yet it’s not enough. You can’t have a garden, not even a balcony garden of fifty pots without a good pair of shears. Pruning mercilessly is the key to get an all rounded plant. Works for kiddos as well. You have to mercilessly ground them, make them write pages and pages and not think twice before cutting off their hair and making their heads look like a spiky cactus. 

Tough love aside, there’s this whole concept of over indulgence in both brats and creepers. You can’t over water, you can’t over supplement, you can’t molly coddle and all of it is subjective. There is no set parameter of pampering for either plant or child. Ditto with temperatures. Some need deep shade, some need a hot sun. One child is forever cold and the other is kicking his covers away all night. In both cases, trial and error are the only solution. Quite a few plants are obliterated in the process but humans somehow seem to be more sturdier and use the decibel method to ask for help. 

Pests. Peskiness. Weeds. Misbehavior. Who knows how to handle any of it? An insect repellent, grounding, yanking them off the soil, a big lecture. What works? Whatever works, when it does, both parents and gardeners know this - IT SHALL COME BACK. You just can’t water your garden, look at the lovely blooms and say I’m done for this life or for this season. Nah! Aphids, mealy bugs, fungus etc. are all regular visitors. They have to be dealt with. You can prevent them, but it requires a lot of effort too. Same thing with children. They begin with digging their noses in public, stealing biscuits and soon enough they are not submitting their homework.  And if you think you can fix any of it permanently, you’re delusional. They have a lifetime supply of ideas that can wreck your life in an instant. And yes, ‘back talk' can be prevented but it requires a lot of effort too!

Weeding out misbehaviors and correcting the ph balance in soil is tedious work. Tedious and monotonous. This whole nurturing thing, is  a basic human instinct and it has a companion. Any guesses? Pulling out one’s own hair? Nope. Mercifully it is not anything we can do to self harm. Have you seen a gardener at work? A mom folding clothes? Guess what they’re always doing? Humming. I can’t prune, or repot without corrupting a few tunes. What mother can endlessly clean, fold, teach and caress without a screech or two? My singing skills are mediocre at best and pathetic at worst and yet I’m glad, my plants and kids make me sing.